5 Things NOT to say to an Escort

20 April 2018

London escorts meet a number of new and regular clients in a week and it’s their job to provide a service or typically the ‘girlfriend’ experience to paying clients. This means within her job role is to please you, make you feel comfortable and satisfied and most of all for you to simply enjoy yourself. That’s why when you are provided with this service, it’s important to remember that’s what this is, a service you're paying for. So making egotistical statements or trying to somehow to insinuate she should appreciate her time with you isn’t very appreciated.

If you’re not one of these guys great, but just in case you are, let us give you some pointers with five things you shouldn't say to an escort, unless you enjoy stilettos digging into you.

So let’s start with number one, in no particular order, the first thing not to say is:

‘I bet I’m your best customer’

Or something akin to this like ‘ i’m the best you’ve ever had’. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. You’re with an escort. Like I said, she sees many people. The fact you would even assume you’re the best shes EVER had from everyone she sees is a stretch, and that’s being modest. Sometimes a little ignorance to your own skills is attractive, it allows another person the opportunity to compliment you, but if you’re going to pay for someone’s services and end up complimenting yourself, you could have just paid yourself.

Escorts understand that an ego needs to be stroked a little, and some men are paying for the affection and confidence boost also. She's a professional, , she knows this and will stroke your ego accordingly and without you having to ask or say anything. If you’re really fishing for some compliments you can ask if there is anything else to do to please her or if she simply enjoyed herself, it’s here when she will let you know how amazing you were.

‘You look different in your pictures’

Eurghhhh. This isn’t a compliment unless you are however telling her how much better she looks in real life. Mentioning she looks different or better in her pictures is massively insulting as lets be fair, don’t we all? Photographs are usually manipulated and doctored images to enhance the shot the camera originally captured. This means there has to be a level of suspended belief and imagination to look at a picture and know it’s not an EXACT representation of real life, something many people are incapable of understanding.

Also escorts usually hire a professional photographer and will have a photo shoot where the pictures are then airbrushed and made to look more enticing. This doesn’t mean they are faked, it just means the maximum potential of the image is realised. People tend to know they look better in the pictures, so telling your escort she looked better in her accurately posed and post doctored photos makes you sound shallow and a little bit stupid.

‘Do I have to wear a condom’

Yes. The answers always yes unless she states otherwise. You should naturally assume if you are planning a booking with an escort that you’re required to wear a condom. This is for safety reasons for both you and her, escorts see many people and it’s possible she could have been passed or pass on to you a sexually transmitted disease. Most escorts will tell you from the get-go or it will be stated on an online profile, that they require you to wear protection. Don’t turn up and pretend you thought it was a joke or that you could maybe talk her out of it later, this is a quick way to lose your money with no satisfaction and simply come across as a jerk.

‘I thought I could do anything I wanted?’

I’m sure you did, but no, no you can’t. Many escorts will tell you what they are comfortable and not comfortable with prior to booking. For example, many escorts may not provide an anal service, or are completely against incest role plays, or have no intention of using toys with you. If this is the case don’t bring a bag of goodies ready for anal sex while you call her mummy.

This is the type of behaviour that will have you losing your money, or worse getting blacklisted by the escort or the agency. Sometimes the information on what they are comfortable in providing and not providing is clearly stated on their online biographies if this is the case definitely refrain from trying to talk her out of it, as these will be strict rules she follows and will just have your time wasted.

Escorts also meet a number of people, many who think they are slick or have the gift of the gab when it comes to escorts, trust me, she’s probably heard it all. Try to avoid making some sort of plea or statement as to why she should participate in your taboo fantasy, as this will only make you look silly, waste your energy and time and could even completely put her off you. Save your pleas and let her, please.

‘Do you mind if I pop a viagra first?’

Yes. Yes, she minds. A client escort encounter is supposed to be as naturally humanly enjoyable as possible. So the custom is to have a little icebreaker conversation, maybe over a drink to bond a little, get down to the fun stuff and then maybe talk a little and leave each other to your lives. This is enjoyable and helps the two people, for a short paid period of time, connect both physically and mentally and having a mental connection, even for a few hours, can make the physical act a lot more enjoyable.

So if you do need to take a viagra, for genuine medical erectile dysfunction-type problems, then fine, and make this clear with your beautiful escort in the beginning before proceeding or even before booking to make sure she is completely fine with it before you waste both your times.

If you are young and healthy, and your reason for taking viagra is simply to last longer with your escort, then this is frowned upon as it will take a lot more for a young healthy man to achieve orgasm while on viagra meaning your escort will have to work unnaturally hard to satisfy you and will have to last longer during sex and it’s possible she’ll enjoy this less. No escort appreciates a two hour long bang session with a seeming no end. Be courteous of her, she wants to enjoy it too.

So there we have it, five things NOT to say to an escort, so next time your about to say something, make sure it’s not along the lines of any of our points, and remember, have fun.

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